CircComics

LATEST NEWS

LATEST COMIC

PAST COMICS

ARCHIVED NEWS

FORUM

A Terrible Ending Breeds a New Beginning... Wednesday, December 31, 2003 7:33:00 PM - Shane

I have labored hard to put into words the occurances and feelings that I have experienced in these past few hard days. Everything has just been jumbled up inside my mind since I found out that a very near and dear friend of mine, Caley Byrtle, was killed in a motorcycle accident on December 23rd; ironically, the same day as the day of his birth.

He had just turned 23 when he was headed to his girlfriend, Martha's, house. Little did he know that he would never make it. He was wearing his helmet and was perfectly sober, but he was speeding. Out of nowhere, someone turned in front of him and misjudged his speed. He slammed into the front driver's side tire. He was killed instantly.

The very sad part, on my end, was that I was jamming with Scott, Dan, and Francois. I missed a call that I hadn't heard due to the fact that we were just too loud. I check and it was Caley. He left a message on my voicemail. These were the last words from him that I ever heard or will ever hear again.

"Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me-eeeee!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday you sexy bitch" *kiss*

That was mere minutes before he died.

On the 26th, I picked up Jack and hung out with Brian. I just felt this weird need to speak to Jack. I just couldn't place this feeling. I had been pissed because of the shit he had pulled in the recent past. But, I could help it...I had to talk to him. Brian just made it even better. We hung for a couple of hour and then said our goodbyes. I dropped Jack off at home. I was getting ready to get a bite to eat and chill when my phone rang. It was Nick. I was going to tell him that I was going to stay home and relax. He was the one that told me that Caley had died. I just stood there and I couldn't breath. Inside, I was like "WHAT THE FUCK! NICK THIS HAD BETTER BE A FUCKING JOKE AND IF IT IS SOMEONE IS REALLY GOING TO DIE!" I couldn't say a word. Nick said, "Shane.....Shane......SHANE!" I simply asked him where he was going and I met him at Denny's.

Rob and Heather found out and went to Denny's to check on me. I had to leave. I had to tell Larry. Us three go way back. But before that, Nick, Peggy, Meredith, Seth, Brian, and David hung out at Denny's to talk and be there for each other. Mind you, besides Nick these people were just aqainstances. But our love for Caley made us friends starting that night. We just chilled and traded war stories.

Nick and I went to the Browser and saw that his El Camino was there. We went inside and saw Zeek. We told him what happened. I feel bad for telling him matteroffactly due to the fact that he had known Caley for the better part of a decade. We get to Larry and I broke the news to him. He asked, if we were joking with him. We had to assure him that we weren't and he just broke down. I don't think that any of us took it very well. We talked to a while and went back to Denny's. I said my goodnights there and went home.

Saturday was very interesting to say the least. I was dead to the world at work. I barely talked. Of course the Circ gang was there for me and for that I greatly thank them. We went to Timmy Chan's for lunch. Virginia saw that was feeling really really bad and decided to buy me lunch. That was very sweet of her and it meant a lot. Not in that I got free food but that someone cared that I felt like utter shit.

We decided to go see the UH basketball team beat my old college, Texas A&M, in overtime. Before that, I hit bottom and decided that I wanted to get drunk. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. And to top it off I decided that if I was going to get drunk for drunk's sake that I was going to do it on shitty alcohol. So I downed 2 bottles of Mad Dog 20/20 and a 24 oz bottle of Smirnoff Ice Triple Black. That was a nasty drunk. Throughout the course of the night, I rambled on about death, friendships, and cried a lot. At one point, Rob and Heather came to check on me. It was about that time that I threw up everything I ate in the past two days. That, actually, sobered me up enough to drive home. About 3 blocks from my house, I had to pull over to yack again. Other than that, the drive home was very uneventful.

Sunday continued the trend of me wanting to be numb. I didn't give a shit anymore. I didn't want to feel anymore. I was happy that Heather provided me with something that made me feel numb and pushed away the sadness that was eating at me. It actually saved me some dropping down deeper into the abyss. I spent the night at Rob's house. It was a restful sleep. All four hours.

Monday was the day of the funeral. I drove home to eat, shower, and get ready for the funeral. Mind you...I HATE FUNERALS WITH A GREAT PASSION! When you die, you better hope I like you. If so...I might go. Ask anyone who has known me for awile. I fucking hate funerals. We all decided that we weren't going to dress up. Instead, we were going to dress in all black and casual. Caley would not only have hated us dressing up, but would have been making fun of us the entire time in heaven. I decided to wear my black cortoroyes (sp?), Ride the Lightning t-shirt, my black long sleeve shirt unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up (3 times), my steel toed boots, and my blue jean jacket.

I meet the gang and Nick at Denny's and chill for a bit. I give Nick a ride there and the first person I run into is Samantha (Joey's ex). She never met Caley but was there for Zeek. We talked for a little bit and said that she seen a big change in me. I told her that, even though there was a lot of bad shit that went on in the past year, I wanted to be her friend. She said yes and we hugged and exchanged numbers. I saw Dalena there and we hugged for a few minutes and we were just there for each other. That's the funny things about Caley and Dalena. They never worked out as a couple but I'll be damned if they didn't always love each other with all their hearts. Caley told me this before he died. I ran into Veronica, Larry and Dalena's mom, Linda. Linda saw me and said, "Shane, is that you." I said yeah and we hugged. She was like a third mom to me. I remember when Phlame dumped me. She made me tea and her and her husband, Randy, talked to me. After we hugged, she said, "Oh my god, you got your natural hair color back." That gave us a good laugh. She has seen me in several hair styles and colors. It was pretty funny. I ran into so much of my past there. It was really cool.

The funeral was rather appropriate. Caley was in a simple wooden casket and was dressed in his Faire garb. For those who didn't know him, he was a hardcore Renny. There was no service per se but his mom talked. Afterwards, whoever wanted to got up and talked about Caley. I had one story in particular, but it was too "colorful" if you ever wanna know, ask me and I'll tell you. It was too funny.

Afterwards Seth, Nick, and I went to pick some things and change for Caley huge sendoff; a large bonfire. I changed into my jeans D-Generation X t-shirt. The same shirt I was wearing when he met me.

The bonfire consisted of two large boxes made of wooden pallets filled with kindling such as newspaper sticks, leaves; whatever would burn. These were stacked and dowsed with gasoline. Since it was his birthday, Seth started the bonfire by igniting it with a roman candle. Caley loved explosions.

There were about 20 people there. Larry played his guitar. It was strangely appropriate. We all had a good time and passed Caley's bottle of Polar Ice and St. Brenadans around for all to share. There was much alcohol to be shared. Towards the end, Seth, Peggy, and I started "The Love Circle." Everyone got into a large circle and Seth made a speech. Towards the end, I started a "Caley" chant that could be heard for miles. It was loud and full of energy. It was beautiful. Soon afterwards, people started to leave. The only people left that stayed until the fired had completely burned out were Nick, Peggy, some dude that we didn't know, Dave, and myself. It was then that (with the exception of the unknown dude) our friendships were locked as if they were in stone.

It was when the fire had burned out that everything started coming into place. The day started on such a down note and it, ironically, ended so positively. It was as if the bonfire represented, not an ending, but the beginning of a new chapter in, not just my life, but the lives of all who knew and loved Caley.

His passing has taught me a lot of things; a new appreciation of life, of friendship, the asstasticness of MD 20/20, but most importantly, that we should appreciate those we hold near and dear that much more. We never know when our number will be called and we will leave this world. It might be decades from now or, as in the case of Caley, it can be in the blink of an eye. We just don't know. Love your friends as if that will be the last time you ever see them. You never know when they will be gone forever. But at the same time, you should love life and all it gives you.

I just want to say at this juncture that I love you Caley and I can't wait to see you again in the next life. I hope that God knows what he's getting into. I am so happy we got back into contact. I am so glad you came into my life. I am so glad you call me your friends and I you. I am so glad of our time on this Earth together. Have fun. You know I will. Until we meet again my dear dear friend and brother.

Which brings me to all my other friends; Glen, Andy, Rob, Matt, Jin, Darrin, Nick, Larry, Heather, Brian, Dalena, the Circ Gang, and all the others. I love all you guys. Never forget that. You all mean so much to me and I can't wait to see what life brings to all of us. I am proud to be your friend and for you all to be mine. This goes to the new friends that I have made recently. Peggy, Meredith, Dave, Brian, Seth, Nate, I look forward to starting this new chapter in my life with you guys as well.

I figure that's all I have to say.